Time as I’ve known it, doesn’t take much time to pass by me.
It is the 1970’s. Time cannot go by fast enough. I have lived in the shadow of my siblings for
years. Alan was the smart one. Beth was the social one. Chuck was the quiet one. Dawn is… well, who exactly am I? Most of the high school teachers know my siblings. I feel as though I am skirting through high
school on their shirt tails. Lucky for
me they are clean ones! However, I cannot wait to go to college. I have chosen one that they have not
attended. I am ready to be just me.
Minutes into days, turn into months
It is the 1980’s. I am married to Mike. I have two wonderful little girls. Gosh, they are getting so big already. It seems like it was just yesterday when I
held baby Sara in my arms. That day is
etched into my memory so strongly. I
close my eyes and can feel the rush of joy as I looked into her face that first
morning. Then Rebecca came along and she
was just so precious and little. Now,
they run around the house and I listen to their little girl squeals of delight
as they play with their friends. Can’t
they stay little for just awhile longer, please?
Turn into years, they hurry by me.
It is the 1990’s. This was a busy decade for the family. We all were baptized in 1992. We bought our first home in 1993. I made a major change in employment in 1994. The girls went from elementary school to
middle school to high school. Sara is
graduating from high school and starting college in Southern
California . Becke is in
high school. We take in a foster child
and her baby. Y2K is quickly approaching
and no one knows what that will do to our lives. Slow down!
Please!!!
Still, I love to see the sun go down and the world go around.
It is the new millennium. I have learned to appreciate the little
things in life. When I had to endure the
painful and tragic loss of Mike, I searched the core of my very being to hold
onto a faith that I had learned as a young child. I watched those around me reprioritize their
lives – shifting to the things that are more important – family, friends, and
even church. I love to sit on the shore
of the ocean, a lake or a river – and listen to the water as it laps against
the shore. The beauty of the world surrounds
me – the glistening rays of a sunrise, the pounding of the rain against the
window. These are magnified ten-fold
when I realize how lucky I am to be living… today.
Dreams full of promises, hopes for the future I’ve had many.
As a teenager I was going to
change the world. I was going to be a
special education teacher and I was going to make a difference in the world as
I integrated the children into the normal society. I was going to be the mother of at least a
half a dozen children – Jessica, Jeremiah, Jennifer, Jacob, Justina , Jordan
Dreams I can’t remember now – hopes that I’ve forgotten – faded
memories.
In my twenties and thirties,
some of those dreams were no longer important to me. When did that shift occur? For teaching, maybe
it was when I decided to quit teaching when Becky was born. Somehow I found it difficult working with
adults who were children and then coming home to children who were
children. Getting permanent certification
in California was no longer of interest to me.
As life changed around me, I changed with it much as the shores change shape
with the shifting tides.
Still I love to see the world go around.
Verification! According to a test on strengths it reveals
that one of my character traits is “flexibility”! I feel like I am the character, Baby, in
Dirty Dancing and Patrick Swayze has just announced that “nobody puts Baby in a
corner”. I love to be free to move from
one project to the next. I don’t like
long term commitments (aside from marriage, children and grandchildren). I don’t mind when life gets interrupted and I
have to change course mid-stream. Choosing
to live from one moment to the next – waiting to see what surprise might be
just around the corner.
And I love to see the morning as it steals across the sky.
As I train for the Susan G.
Komen walk, I often rise at five o’clock in the morning and head for the Campbell Community Center
I love to remember and I love to wonder why.
So many things to remember over
the years… First dates – and last dates… family vacations and holidays…. the
first breath of a newborn baby and the last breath of a dying parent… the first day of school, graduation days and
wedding days… jokes between friends told by the campfire and secrets shared
throughout the years… life… and death… and everything in between. Sometimes I speak to God and ask him, “Why
did this happen to me? What on earth do
I need this information for?”… and sometimes he answers me, just not in the way
that I expected.
And I hope that I’m around so I can be there when I die – when I’m
gone.
Life is for the living and
that’s just what I intend to do. I am
too young to be old just yet. There’s
still much to do. God willing, I will
stay active until it’s time for me to leave this world. .
I hope that you will think of me in moments when you’re happy and
you’re smiling.
I’ve heard it said that if you
see someone without a smile, give him one of yours. Happiness and joy are truly contagious. Have I accomplished this in my lifetime? Have I done it enough?
That the thoughts will comfort you on cold and cloudy days when you are
crying
This is my legacy. That I have shown in my lifetime wisdom and
strength, courage and hope. Faith and
love can conquer all even during the worst of times in life… and more importantly,
that no matter what happens, life can and will go forward and go on.
That you’ll love to see the sun go down – and the world go around – and
around and around.
If I have taught you nothing
else, I hope that I have taught you how to love the small things that often get
lost in the bigger ones. We have ears to
hear and eyes to see and if we stop, for just a moment, we can appreciate the
little things that are right in front of us, day in and day out. And in that moment, life is good.
Around and Around
Time
as I’ve known it, doesn’t take much time to pass by me.
Minutes
into days, turn into months
Turn
into years, they hurry by me.
Still,
I love to see the sun go down and the world go around.
Dreams
full of promises, hopes for the future I’ve had many.
Dreams
I can’t remember now – hopes that I’ve forgotten – faded memories.
Still
I love to see the world go around.
And
I love to see the morning as it steals across the sky.
I
love to remember and I love to wonder why.
And
I hope that I’m around so I can be there when I die – when I’m gone.
I
hope that you will think of me in moments when you’re happy and you’re smiling.
That
the thoughts will comfort you on cold and cloudy days when you are crying
That
you’ll love to see the sun go down – and the world go around – and around and
around.
Sung and written
by John Denver
Written in 2019
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