Are we ever really independent

As we celebrated the 4^th of July, or Independence Day, I pause to reflect on the word “independence”.

Merriam-Webster defines this as “the quality or state of being independent”.  The word independent is defined as:

1.       Not dependent: such as

      a.  (1) not subject to control by others (Self-Governing)

     (2) not affiliated with a larger controlling unit

b.  (1) not requiring or relying on something else:

     (2) not looking to others for one’s opinions or for guidance
     (3) not bound by or committed to a political party

 c.  (1) not requiring or relying on others
     (2) being enough to free one from the necessity of working

                             

As humans, both in the United States of America and in other countries, not one person is ever truly independent.  Look at 1a (1) above: “Not subject to self governing”.  People around the world are always subject to the controls put in place by governments.  Without such rules, we would likely not sustain ourselves with a “me” society that would place our own selves above others.  I do, however, feel that we have too many rules in place.  Some because they are outdated – others because someone somewhere thought we had to be told what to do because someone else used erroneous judgement. 

If you are employed by someone else, you will have rules in place as well.  How to act or not act, how to behave towards other people or clients, what hours you need to work, the number of hours you should be working. 

Part 1b (1,2) above is about not requiring or relying on something or someone else.  The human race is designed to be a social race.  Aside from people who are living in remote areas and may be self-sustaining, most of us have a desire for input from others, for guidance from others, for relationship with others.  Many people follow trends for clothing, for cars, and other nifty things.  Most of us want to know if the car they want to buy is reliable, want to hear from others about whether or not it’s a good choice. 

We, as a human race rely on others for comfort, for safety and security.  We desire relationship with family and/or friends in order to feel connected. 

We all experience independence of various facets of our lives.  For instance, someone who is an experience welder does not need help to do his job.  A baker can be creative and make many things really well, not relying on another person (except maybe the praises of the people who are eating the goods).  We can live independently within our home for the most part – able to walk, dress, shower, cook, clean, etc. on our own.  We all have the desire to be independent.  We will never be totally independent while on this earth because, as I said earlier, certain parts of our lives will either be governed by others or we will rely on others for assistance to do the things we cannot do. 

I believe we all have times when we feel independent.  We yearn to be free.  Free of rules and regulations, free to exercise our own rights, free to do as we please.

Freedom comes at a cost. The cost of freedom to the people of our nation could be the life of a soldier fighting a war against tyranny somewhere in the world.  The cost of freedom in our personal life could be a relationship with someone else. 

In my mind for the past few years, I dreamed of the day when I would no longer be a caregiver and would be free to move about as I please, caring only for myself.  I knew that day was coming, just did not know exactly when.  To keep myself positive, I imagined what I would do ‘after’ George was gone. 

Now that he is gone, there is a part of me that misses that partnership, the caring and nurturing given over the course of five years.  While I am grateful to have some semblance of freedom, I would give that up in a heartbeat for more time with my George.  You see, independence – freedom, comes at a great cost.  The cost for me is a life without my husband.  (Two, if you are counting.) 

What lengths are you willing to go to be ‘free’, to be independent?  Or are you, like me, content to rely on others for things, to rely on some rules in order to keep people safe or healthy?