June 2, 1979 - A simple love story

Again - a page from my memoirs.  Something I wrote in 2009 on what would have been a 30th anniversary of my marriage to Mike.  I wanted to take the time today to remember a simpler time in life, a simple ceremony to celebrate love.  With all the turmoil going on in our world today, I think we could all use a love story.   

Dear Mike:

Thirty years ago today I woke up at Uncle Dick and Aunt Trudy’s house along with my college roommate, Sherri Brehm. It was decided we should stay there because you and your family were housed with my parents.  By staying with my uncle I would not have to stand in line for a bathroom!

After waking up I felt kind of funny in my tummy.  I said to my uncle, “Either I am hungry or I have butterflies in my stomach.”  To help figure that out, he took Sherri and me out for breakfast at a local diner.  Guess what?  I was hungry!

Later in the morning we headed over to my parents house to get ready for our big day.  Sherri and I got our dresses on, brushed out our hair and put floral headbands on.  We came downstairs to take some outdoor photos.  I know people say it is bad luck to see the groom before the wedding ceremony – but you and I were not always known for doing things by the book. 

You and most of the family took off for church while Sherri and I waited for my dad to drive us.  Dad parked the car across the street from the front door of the church and went inside.  Sherri and I sat patiently in my dad’s brown Zephyr and watched people entering the church.

Sherri looked over at me and said, “I can’t believe you aren’t nervous!”

I smiled and told her, “I’m just glad this day is finally here and we can make things legal.”  You and I already felt like a married couple and this ceremony was simply the icing on the cake.

You knew that sharing this day with my family and friends was important to me and never once questioned going all the way back to Connecticut to get married.  I felt special getting married in the same church as my parents and grandparents.

Dad finally came out to the car to let us know it was time to go in.  Sherri and I walked across the street, up the stairs and into the foyer.  I was all smiles as I stood at the back of the church with my dad.  (See photo to right.)

My Aunt Dorothy (Dot) was playing the organ for us.  As she started the Wedding March (Here Comes the Bride) Dad and I began our walk down the aisle.  Even as I nodded and smiled at people on the way to the altar, I couldn’t help but notice your beautiful smile waiting for me at the end of the aisle. 

As Dad handed me over to you, we slid together and held hands.  The ceremony began. 

My friend, Ellen, sang “With You”, a beautiful song from the musical Pippin.  I am such a sap that I started crying – but we were prepared.  You had tissues in your pocket.  You slyly reached in and handed one over to me and we shared a tender moment in the process. 

When Reverend Shirley asked, “Do you, Michael, take Dawn to be your wife?” you apparently were not paying attention.  Do you remember the slight hesitation until your best man, Kenny, gave you a nudge and you stuttered, “Oh, yeah, … I do!”  We chuckled. 

On the walk up to the altar to do our final vows, I stepped on the corner of my dress and you kept me upright.  It was not noticeable from the congregation and Reverend Shirley quietly said, “The things they’ll never know.”  You flashed your mischievous smile at me.  Another private precious moment to be remembered.

Reverend Shirley pronounced us “husband and wife” and we kissed before turning towards the crowd.  We marched out to “The Wedding Song” by Paul Stookey and stood at the front door of the church to receive best wishes from family and friends. 

Once done with the receiving line we headed down to the church basement where we had a simple reception consisting of mini sandwiches, cake, punch and coffee.  We preferred to keep things simple and informal – and our wedding and reception exemplified this perfectly. 

Do you remember the reception?  We bustled around from table to table to visit with our guests.  Mom had hired a friend to play music on a piano in the church hall.  For our first dance we just sort of turned in circles as you never did know how to dance!  Then it was time to dance with Dad. I always enjoyed dancing with him.  I was daddy’s little girl as we twirled about on the dance floor.

 When we threw the garter and bouquet my little cousins, Robin (ten) and Jennifer (twelve), caught everything.  It was quite comical watching Robin put the garter on his sisters’ leg. 

The afternoon flew by so quickly and before we knew it we were back at my parents’ house where we changed into comfy clothes.  We spent the early evening hours with close family in the back yard opening gifts, laughing and talking about the day.  We weren’t in a hurry to get anywhere.

When we left the house, we drove to Waterbury to our “first honeymoon night” hotel.  I don’t even remember the name of the hotel now – which is pretty bad considering it was one of only two available at the time!  We got to our room, looked at the clock and realized it was time for our favorite shows!  So we quickly ran down the hill from the hotel to McDonald’s to grab ourselves something to eat and then dashed back to watch “Love Boat” and “Fantasy Island”.  Is it possible our honeymoon was over before it began since we were so bent on spending a typical Saturday night together??  Or is it we knew had the rest of our lives to be together and were not in a rush to consummate things?  Whatever!  Again, we were not a typical couple!

Our wedding day was perfect for us. 

*********************************************

Breakdown of wedding costs:

Church:                                          $0.00

Minister:                                      $30.00

Wedding Dress:                         $125.00

Shoes:                                          $15.00

Groom’s Suit:               $0.00  (Gift from Mike’s foster mom, Joy)

Reception:              $125.00  (Provided by Ladies Guild at church)

Flowers:                            $400.00  (I think that’s what they were)

Programs:          $0.00  (My sister printed at her place of business)

Photographer:                                $0.00 (My oldest brother, Alan, took photos as did others)

Bride’s ring:                                 $80.00

Groom’s ring:                                $0.00 (Mike’s late foster dad’s wedding band was given to us to use)

Honeymoon (Wtby- 1 night)       $60.00 (Guessing at this because I don’t remember now)

Honeymoon (Boston-1 night)      $60.00 (Again a guess)

Honeymoon (Cape Cod-2 nights) $0.00 (Cottage belonged to college roommates parents, did not chg us)

TOTAL:                                     $895.00

(Above pricing does not include plane fare to/from San Jose/Bradley International and some small miscellaneous charges such as food or gas.)

Lyrics to song Ellen sang:

With You

From the musical, Pippin

My days are brighter than morning air
Evergreen pine and autumn blue
But all my days are twice as fair
If I could share
My days with you

My nights are warmer than firecoals
Incense and stars and smoke bamboo
But nights were warm beyond compare
If I could share
My nights with you

To dance in my dreams
To shine when I need the sun
With you
To hold me when dreams are done

And oh....
My dearest love
If you will take my love
Then all my dreams are truly begun

And time weaves ribbons of memory
To sweeten life when youth is through
But I would need no memories there
If I could share
My life with you

***************

Lyrics to The Wedding Song by Paul Stookey

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubador is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name There is Love. There is Love.

A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love. There is Love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it Love that brings you here or Love that brings you life?
And if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh there's Love, there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love. There is Love.